Quiet please

Silence is the true friend that never betrays- Confucius

I love the sound of silence even if it's deafening. Er, okay let me clear my point since there are two types of silence-the good and the bad. The good kind of silence is synoymous to calmness and peacefulnes-the one that's very conducive for studying, working, and yes SLEEPING. The other meaning is total ignorance- the kind of silence that tortures and even kills you. You know, the kind of treatment you get from a person whom you have wronged big time but is not talking to you or prefers to ignore you. Simply put it, you're placeed under the silent treatment program.

Of course, we all prefer the former definition of silence-calm and peaceful. Who wants to be caught in the middle of a chaotic state right?

***

What do libraries, seminaries, churches, monastaries, and even retreat houses share in common? They have high regard for silence. Try studying and understanding a difficult lesson in a club-like ambiance where loud music's being played or meditate in a place where you can hear a lot of shouting and cursing. Let's see if you can still concentrate. Even if they are public places, the purpose why they're built, I think, is for us to enjoy a place where noise and distraction are absent in order for us to find time to relax our minds, reflect and search our selves, and pray to the Father.

***

I'm hating the office atmosphere lately simply because of the noise and distraction that I'm experiencing (which I share with my workmates). Working in a graveyard shift is fun since you can count by your fingers the people who are present, thus creating for a more conducive working environment that's free from distractions that I get to experience when working in the morning. Lately, I'm saddened by the fact that the "sacredness" of the graveyard shift (read: quiet environment because of two things-working or sleeping lol) is slowly fading away if not, disrespected. Yes, I am very irritated right now with the other people here in the office who are insensitive to their colleagues. I mean, I get it that you're just having fun with your officemates in the middle of work but they have to remember that workplace is not a playground where they can freely shout or yell on each other. Worse, it's not a place for your jamming sessions! What the hell is wrong with them?! I'm simply pissed off. Period.

This says it all.
http://www.mydoorsign.com/img/lg/S/Quiet-Please-Sign-S-4621.gif

I swear the world better prepare, for when I'm a billionaire

I wanna be a billionaire so frickin' bad, buy all of the things I never had

If only taxes are low... 

If only I'm born rich...

If only I get a more decent compensation, I'll buy my "occasional wants" I PROMISE!

I'll have no problem buying this...

Someday you'll be mine
http://store.melissaphilippines.com

Why are you so expensive?It's heart-breaking that even if I love you so veeeeeeery much I would end up imagining how perfect my feet fit well inside your glass slipper-ish shoe. Oh I hate it really that you're too expensive! Huhuhuhu but I still love you...forever and always. Maybe someday I'll buy you if you're already cheaper by 75%. But for now, goodbye :(

You make me smile

"Don't care about all the pain in front of me, 'coz I'm just trying to be happy"

- Happy, Leona Lewis

I simply cannot hide how happy and "high" I am after that unexpected phone call from someone very special to me almost seven hours ago. I'm really really kilig  as I write this entry...the kind of kilig that for years I haven't experienced. Don't get me wrong since I have my own share of kilig moments but I can say the phone call gave me a kind of kilig-to-the-bones moment that I haven't felt for the longest time...from him.

The call suddenly reminds me of the simple, touching, and kilig moments that I used to have because of him...the phone conversations that we had for hours, staying up until 12 midnight just to call and greet me on my special day, calling our house past 10pm to check if I'm already home since I'm not replying to any of his text messages, and yes, talking to me over the phone just to ask me if I'm feeling jealous. Lol. All these faded into thin air as days, months, and years passed by. 

Our communication line was cut earlier last year and was restored after some months...only it became frequent. Still, I'm happy with the set-up of our once in a blue moon conversations. Yes, my heart jump with glee everytime he'd pm. Moreso when I got a text message from him which happened once in a century now (exaggeration I know!) after what happened last year. 

Anyway, just though of sharing how happy I am today...really. I want to tell people how, despite of all the things that happened and regardless of being a big fat jerk that he is, he still makes me happy and kilig. He's the only person who can make me feel inis and kilig  at the same time. He remains very special to me even if I am fully aware that I should not treat or feel that way for him. I guess it's love for me...for the close friends that I have and knew all about this, I have no doubt that they call it---not martyrdom- but plain STUPIDITY.  I cannot blame them if that's what they think because it's true. 

I'm in pain several times because of him but I'm not blaming him solely because of this feeling. It's me---I think 98%---who causes my own hurt and even depression. It's me who wants to still talk to him and have our communication lines open not for anything else anymore (believe me, I've long accepted this fact) but just to keep the friendship that we had over the years. Yes, I'm still in love and even head-over-heels with him but honestly, I'm no longer hoping that I'll have a happy ending with him...I just want to preserve whatever good memories we have... and let me stress keep the friendship, that's it! Sure I still feel jealous and keeps  on stalking him online but I'm really sincere with what I said even if it seems doubtful. Though I really stopped hoping and expecting from him that doesn't mean I stop loving him. I still do and I always will.

To you, who know you are: thank you... for your time, stories, concern, and for bringing joy and even causing me pain. I'm really grateful knowing you.  

Polar bear and giffie :)
http://lh5.ggpht.com/_ydjTfN3Bvio/Rstd7mUj_dI/AAAAAAAAAt0/R2Z8-APQT0k/124+-+Polar+Bear+%26+Giraffe.JPG

Straight to the stomach

"Life is so brief that we should not glance either too far backwards or forwards...therefore study how to fix our happiness in our glass and in our plate." -Grimod de la Reynière (1758-1838)
 

First things first, I'm not converting my personal blog to a food blog since this short entry concerns my so-called "happy food" for the week nor am I going to review these foods...I just want to share them. It just happened that for the first time in my blogging life I made two consecutive entries about food.

 

Anyway, what about my so-called "happy food?" I find it amazing how a scoop of your favorite ice cream or a warm bowl of bulalo brighten up your gloomy mood. It's amusing how our favorite food affects our emotions especially if we feel depressed, down, or simply sad. It's as something magical happens everytime we eat food, especially our fave ones. 

 
Okay, on with my "happy food" for the week:
 

1. Nestle Chuckie. Brings back childhood memories right?It's that chocolate drink that I enjoyed sipping during recess...it's that drink that my yaya Flor bought me everytime she gets her sweldo.  I love chocolates, the reason why I am crazy about this drink... until now. Ah, I love it being served literally ice cold! I always go gaga everytime I bought one in Mini-Stop or 7-11 before going home. It's pure bliss for me.

 

2. Nescafe Iced Moccha Coffee. Since I don't want to drink hot coffee at 2 or 3 am, I'm glad that iced mocchas in cans are being sold, again in the nearest convenience store available in the office. It's a perfect company to keep me awake considering my work schedule.

 

3. All-beef shawarma. I only realized that I'm craving for one last Monday hehe. It's been a while since I last bought a good shawarma. By the way, I'm not a shawarma fan at the start since I hate those onions and other stuffs that comes along with it but the all-beef option changed my mind.

 

4. Chick pops in Chicks Rule. My curiosity about the food's taste also ended Monday night. For months, the small kiosk opened in ABS-CBN's Loop and yes, I'm quite curious with the store's offering. So after months of waiting, I finally was able to taste its chick pops!yey! The chick pops are similar to KFC's hotshots...I love hotshots and the idea of coming up with a chick pops is a good alternative since there's no near KFC in the office. Curiosity, satisfied. ayus!

 

5. Brooklyn Pizza + 1.5l Coke + free buffalo wings. This is the ultimate "happy food" of my week. We took advantage of this promo and oh boy, I extremely enjoyed its 14 inch white pizza and spicy buffalo wings! Plus, I also got excited with the thought of coke finally entering my body haha! I somehow abstained from this carbonated drink since it's unhealthy and it just adds to additional calories in the body lol. I feel "high" while eating, I swear!  Definitely, good choice, good decision, good mood :)

 

   

Of breakfast buffet and champorad-OH

We are all dietetic sinners; only a small percent of what we eat nourishes us; the balance goes to waste and loss of energy.  ~William Osler

Food. Food.Food! Who doesn't enjoy eating a sumptuous meal at least three times a day right?

What's for dessert?

Bacon, eggs, ham, and pancakes for breakfast; sinigang na hipon, crispy pata, rice, and gelato for lunch; and finally, lasagna,  slice of pizza, spicy wings, and chocolate mousse for dinner---YUMYUMYUM!

Food is one of the basic needs of man aside from clothing and shelter. Without it, we will feel weak, lose focus, and even perform badly. After all, it's because of those vitamins, minerals, proteins, and carbohydrates that fuel up our body in order for us to function properly.

Of all the three meals, breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day. A teacher of mine in science (I forgot who) told us that it only takes four hours for food to be digested that's why we get hungry every four hours or so (or sometimes, even less haha!). Now going back, the reason why breakfast is said to be important is because during the night, our body doesn't have enough supply of food or even water since we're asleep that's why eating heavy breakfast is highly recommended in order for us to make up with loss of our energy and for us to function properly.

I admit that I'm guilty of not eating breakfast properly. I don't know, but I feel weird eating early in the morning...it's like my mouth refuses to let any foreign object enter in. So I ended up most of the time sleeping (after coming from a 10pm-7am shift) with an empty stomach. Tsktsk. 

***

Well, as much as I'd like to be proud of this achievement (since I'm somehow on a semi-diet mode haha) I know that it's not healthy.Even so, I still have no intentions of forcing myself to eat early in the morning and just let things, or should I say food, fall into its rightful place---mouth then stomach in particular order.

                                                                              ***

I love eating just like anybody else. I feast on oily and fatty foods but I make sure I do eat veggies and fruits (no okra and ampalaya though). Too much oily and fatty foods sometimes give me this weird feeling of sudden difficulty in breathing. Tsk. Too much is bad right, so moderation is still the best prevention.

                                                                            ***

Last Saturday after coming from our friday shift, I was with two officemates to try this resto that offers breakfast buffet. In the middle of the week, one of them suggested to have a breakfast buffet. I immediately suggested Somethin' Fishy since I've tried it twice and I was satisfied since they offer good food for an affordable price. The other one said why not try other restos. She's right, why not give it a try? 

And so, after searching in the internet for a couple of minutes, I came across with this resto---Grills and Sizzles. I immediately looked up to their site for info. and found out three important things that interest the three of us: it's located in Examiner St., opens as early as 6:30 am, and breakfast buffet meal at P139 only---PERFECT! 

We'll eat like pigs the next day for sure.

We arrived in the place past 9 because of some events. The place was quite cozy and was not that crowded. I was quite disappointed with the food choices me simply because when I "researched" about this resto, they serve I think at least eight viands but when we got there, there were only six---no tapa and longganisa though =( The staff also didn't refill some the platter of tuyo. Bacon's overflowing, the scrambled egg is just right, the bangus is good, and the garlic rice is tolerable considering I don't eat garlic rice.

But the highlight of my dining experience is tadah----champorado! A champorado lover that I am, I was excited upon reading the reviews of customers of how the resto's champorado tastes delicious. I am not disappointed. It's good...fantastic...extraordinary...unique...the best... ORGASMIC lol!

We finished just in time for the 10:30 promo cut-off and oh boy I am very very full!Two rounds of rice (well, okay it's just half-half serving of garlic rice so that makes a cup...not bad since I really hate garlic rice), bacon strips, scrambled eggs, bangus belly, and two cups of my all-time fave breakfast---CHAMPORADO. Now, if I'll be served champorado everyday, I won't hesitate eating breakfast regardless of how early it will be given to me...champorado's got a special place in my stomach :))

It's "THE" UPCAT!

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school. -Albert Einstein (1879-1955)


All roads lead to Katipunan.

Hundreds of graduating high school students from Metro Manila and neighboring province (Rizal and maybe Bulacan and Laguna) flocked since yesterday to THE University of the Philippines to try their luck in UPCAT. The exam's not basta-basta after all, it's your ticket to entering THE UP.Passing the UPCAT would earn any graduating high school student the bragging rights of being MATALINO. It's THE UP by the way, the premiere university of the Republic of the Philippines, so it's really a big plus plus in your entire education life and even in your resume if you go to this school. That's what I think.

Yes, just like many graduating high school students, I dreamt of going to this university. It's as if studying in this school would make every person I know or encounter bow down before me and worship me the moment they know I am from UP because I am smart...no, make it genius. Hahaha of course, it's an illusion!Lol. Seriously, I was devastated when my mother told me she had no money to send me to a review center during summer so that I could study for the upcoming UPCAT. Instead, she made a deal with me to buy me a reviewer instead---I agreed with her offer. The reviewer on hand plus a study session with my two closest pal are my weapon for UPCAT. 

UPCAT wasn't easy...it is never easy...and it will never ever be! The moment I finished the exam on August 2, 2007 I knew right there and then that I need a miracle to have my dream of studying in UP come true. I know I was right when I said that.

Fastforward to February of 2008, we checked the website to see if my name is included on the list who passed the exam. It's confirmed. I failed in UPCAT. Oh well, that's life. I admit that I am saddened and nanghihinayang but at least, I still ended up with a good school...my beloved alma mater, THE University of Santo Tomas :) It's an honor, really, to set foot and study in this school. I love my school, no regrets...really.

*****

I decided not to go to work today and instead come with my parents because of one thing: my younger brother is having his UPCAT today. 

We left the house at 5am in order to avoid the expected heavy flow of traffic that day. We managed to get inside the campus before 6am, minutes ahead of my brother's 6:30 scheduled exam.

The next couple of hours is one of the longest in my life! Almost five hours worth of waiting for him to finish is no joke. To make matter worse my phone's battery was drained, the fm station that my mother enjoys listening to sucks (it's not 90.7 btw) plus it's raining that's why we're stuck most of the time inside the car! Tsss.

Parked cars: waiting for the examinees to finish

I enjoyed the light conversation with my parents during those five boring hours. We kept on laughing and laughing because of our silly stories and remarks that the three of us shared. I enjoyed it really but the waiting part really drives me nuts. Good thing I survived the whole thing!

After enduring all five hours of waiting (too much emphasis on the five waiting hours lol), had our quick lunch at Vivian's Tapsi *yummy* then went home...finally :))

A little confession: somehow, I'm jealous and envy my brother because he was enrolled in a review center while I was given the only option to self-study (and some help with my friends). But I have to understand that if they will not do this, he might have a hard time since he's a lazy student and definitely, telling and letting him study by himself is like talking to a wall---useless. So I just hope that he'll pass this...or at least in USTET since he expressed his interest in studying in UST. I really really hope that he was able to apply and will still apply what he learned from his review in his upcoming college entrance exams. I hope he'll pass in UST * fingers crossed.* 

Oh well, at least it's one down for him. More or less he still has three entrance exams to take -on the 22nd he'll take his USTET, then later this year in Mapua and Lyceum. 

***

Most students think that education stops the moment they march in PICC and get their diplomas onstage while wearing their togas. They believe that the grades they got from recitations, assignments, projects, quizzes, examinations, and even theses show how "learned" they are.Sometimes, they even think that graduating with laude honors would make them the smartest and genius individuals of their time. I know this too well, I was once a student.

But just like what the great Einstein, a school dropout but is considered as genius, we can only say that we are truly educated if, despite our decision to unlearn the many things that we studied in school over the years, we remain rationale with our choice of our own decisions, words, and actions. Education is a continuing process of discovery and application. The true essence of education is how we cope with and run our lives based from our knowledge, our understanding of the world, our principles, and most importantly our experience or learnings. After all, it is through our past experiences that we're able to learn or discover things that could help us eventually in the future since we already know how to do it right...the second, third, or even the 100th time! The important thing is that we really learned from those experiences.

In connection with Einstein's words, I suddenly remembered what our professor, Sir Ian Esguerra of PDI said that in the real world, we have to learn to unlearn the things taught in school because more often than not, they are irrelevant. It's important though to master the rules, for neophytes, but the moment you understand all these things and you're confident that you know how to apply it properly, that's the only time that you can finally break the rules and do your thing...the way you understand and experienced it. 

Ang mahirap kasi sa mga estudyante or matatalino kuno, pag actual time ng application kulelat na! Reason: they rely too much on books or theories that they are too afraid to break the rules. They only follow or do what's written on the book just like a teenager who meticulously follow her recipe book not knowing that sometimes, it's okay to bend the rules. It's time to learn how to take risks. 

Education or being educated is all about taking risk. You question, search for the answer, discover it, experiment, then maybe fail twice or ten thousand times, but at the end of the day you LEARNED. Learn that it's okay to have failing grades or get a negative zero in a quiz---that's not the real measurement of learning because knowledge is measured not inside the classroom but outside the four corners of the school...you can say that you really learned when you can perform well even outside of your comfort zone because you perfectly understand the "world."And when that finally happens, you can proudly say, TO HELL WITH THE BOOKS, THE LECTURES, THE READINGS and YES TO YOUR OWN DISCOVERY AND UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THINGS AROUND THE WORLD REALLY WORKS... that's KNOWLEDGE and EDUCATION for you.

Oh, and one last thing: really, it's not from what school you came from or if you have laude honors---all these will go down the drain if you do not know, understand, and even navigate your own world. Knowledge is useless if you do not have actual understanding.

UAAP Season 73 opener post-thoughts

GO USTE!GOUSTE!GO USTE!GO, GO, GO, GO

With UAAP Season 73's kick-off ceremony last Saturday, I can't help but feel excited to catch a game or two of  my school's team in the men's basketball seniors division- UST Growling Tigers, that is. I'm not the only I'm not the only person on earth who's very excited to troop to Araneta Coliseum or wherever the venue will be to cheer tirelessly for my team as there are thousands of alumni and students alike from the more popular and rich schools (read: ADMU and DLSU) who are more than willing to shed money just to get a good view of the game. Well, I'm contented with upper a and b sections of the coliseum....I think it's more fun sitting there because I think that's where the "crowd" is. Aside from the men's basketball in the senior's division, I'm also looking forward to the women's senior volleyball competition to be held sometime in the second semester of the school year and of course, the cheerdance competition (which I have to see live before I die haha!) Hoping SDT will make a strong comeback this season after failing to land a spot on the top 3 last year.

This year's theme, by the way, is "heroes. The reason behind it, according to UAAP pres. Bernie Oca of host school DLSU, is "because we need heroes. I want people to realize there's a hero in each and every one of us." Well, this reminds me of Eric Peñaflorida's famous "the hero in you is waiting to be unleashed" during his acceptance speech when he was named 2009 CNN Hero of the Year. In addition, Oca also explained that the recent turnover from the Arroyo to the Aquino administration has something to do with it also because he wants all UAAP member schools-athletes, officials, students, and alumni- to be "heroic and help build our leaders build this nation." How dramatic, indeed. Anyhow, let's just hope that this theme will be realized and carried out for the rest of the season.

         Can the Blue Eagles defeat their crown and go for a three-peat?

Now, on to my thoughts about the Season 73 opener- both the opening and the games itself (okay I'm a sports analyst wannabe haha). Segue: Thanks to the available TOA, I was able to catch the opening and finish the second game yehey:)

Opening ceremony
It's more laid back this time, based on my observation. I mean, the dance number involving the athletes of the participating schools is like the one you see being performed in your school programs. I like the music and makes me want to dance hehe. I also enjoyed Gary V.'s "Hataw Na" performance. I mean it's Gary V. and just seeing him perform, what can I ask for, right? I skipped Ogie's number by choice. But overall, I think the opening ceremony is not that impressive, save for the mini-movie which I think is somewhat cool. The effects are similar with what I saw in Mulawin or Darna... but I think the mini-movie's effects are better haha. Fantaserye-themed baby! The mini-movie is a hit, at least to me. And the costumes of the eight school representatives? I like some, others so-so. Overall, the opening's a so-so and easily forgettable. The production is not that spectacular, despite Ogie and Gary V.'s presence. I think it's also inappropriate to sing Ogie's composition used in P-Noy's inauguration. I mean, we get DLSU's point of adopting heroes as this season's theme but that "makabayan" song (I'm not aware of the title) plus a clip of P-Noy's inaugural speech...WE ARE IN THE UAAP, just to remind you. The mood should be more festive and main focus should be Filipino athletes and ordinary students. It's good that the tournament is getting involved with national affairs, but they can do that in the proper venue, I guess. This is a SPORTS gathering not a POLITICAL event. We have too much dose of politicking. 

        10...9...8...7...654..3..2...1

Let the games begin!
I was right with my first game prediction: a DLSU win over UP. The Maroon Katipunan-based school may have defeated the Archers last year, but once is enough. I believe that if it's basketball in the UAAP, it has to be DLSU over UP. Despite Woody Co, Martin Reyes, and Mark Lopez, UP's such a young team as compared to the Archers' rich experience in basketball despite losing its veteran players. They still have Webb and recently Simon Atkins whose playing good. Plus a hottie haha! But I'm not booting out the Maroons especially with the addition of their Fil-Am recruit. I observed that they are not as persevering as their Taft-based counterparts during their game...lazy to get some rebound. But who knows in their upcoming games.


Made a mistake on favoring with UE haha! I'm no UE fan and the reason why I favored them on last saturday's game is simple: the Tigers are inconsistent. There are days when they are playing good, most of the time they're all over the place...that's how bad it is. But I'm a Thomasian and will be a Tiger supporter forever---regardless of the standing. Now with their upcoming game in Ateneo, I still think that the Tigers will not win this one...unless if Camus, Afuang, Bautista, Tinte, and the Daquiaog rookie will be in their perfect condition, they might beat the defending champs. Also, if the two Jerics will also play good, they might get this...hoping for a win but I will not be surprised if it will not happen.

                                King Archer takes oath: SimonAtkins leads the oath of sportsmanship...simply hot!
With NU and ADU's game, I knew it will be ADU. And between FEU and ADMU, I don;t know. Both teams are though. As many people would say, it would be an ADMU-FEU showdown in the finals.I think each team now has a shot in beating ADMU especially now that Al Hussaini and Baclao's out of the team. I mean these two guys are the main reason why ADMU won last year---it's how these two guys defend the perimeter and the basket most especially. But Long and Salamat are still there. 


Oh well, let's just see how this season will go...ONE FOR UST!                    

Sleeping beauty wannabe

The worst thing in the world is to try sleep and not to.- F. Scott Fitzgerald                                                                       

I love sleeping just like anybody else. I grab every chance to sleep-while waiting, traveling towards my destination (especially if it's a long-drive or even a 20-minute nap inside a jeepney on my way home), few hours after eating, and since I'm working on a graveyard shift, after finishing my work (okay, not true at all times hehe).

But falling asleep and sleep per se are two different issues for me.

I always have a hard time falling asleep. There are many times that lying in my bed for a couple of hours does not guarantee me a ride to dreamworld instantly nor an unlit room helps me to succumb to sleep. In fact, sleeping in an unlit room unleashes the chicken out of me as thoughts of monsters, ghosts, and other scary-looking creatures haunt me, thus forcing me to open the lights once more. I told my registered-nurse friends about this and they gladly gave me tips on how to fall asleep--- taking a warm bath, avoiding adrenaline rush activities, eating chocolates or drinking coffee few hours before bedtime, drinking warm milk, achieve a "specific bed time," and even rearranging my room to give me that "cozy" feeling. At times, their suggestions work, but more often than not, it doesn't.

sleep like a baby...how i wish! www.babyphotospictures.com

The problem worsens by the time I started working on the graveyard shift.  

Sleeping in the middle of the afternoon on the months of April up until now  is like having my own taste of inferno on earth! My room's ventilation is very poor and I would end up waking up every hour all sweaty (I don't have an airconditioning unit and the electric fan, in its full blast, is of no help). I get cranky since an additional problem occurred, so I decided to tell my mother about this dilemma. Upon consulting with their in-house nurse, she bought me this tiny pink pill. I don't know if it's really a sleeping pill or just an anti-depressant. Anyhow, the pill is effective. But I only take it when needed---like twice a month. I'm all good and feels refreshed after achieving a straight nine-hour sleep. Happiness, indeed. 

can't sleep?you're not alone

www.sleeping-with-a-sleeping-disorder.com

But since I'm not allowed to take this pill everyday, I have to suffer all over again the curse of sleep deprivation, or at least, close to it. Like I said earlier, aside from falling asleep, it's also a struggle for me to achieve a straight and deep sleep since I always end up waking every hour or so---regardless of the weather. And so I begin to wonder why there are people who can easily fall asleep in five seconds in ANY, and I mean ANY, position while I cannot lose consciousness despite lying in a more comfortable  position.

And you know why I am ranting?                                                

Almost two and a half hours of sleep.

And my head starts to feel heavy...dammit! 

Breather

All by myself, I wandered in the woods

the hissing of snakes made me feel I'm no longer on my own.

Walking slowly in a dark and long alley

I am clueless of what awaits me at the end of the road.

Then there was a beautiful light, shining so bright

I'm almost blinded to see what's on the other side.

I swim a river, although I do not know how to, and managed to get to the other side

without getting drowned.

Jumping tirelessly from cloud to cloud, my feet feeling its soft and cotton-like texture

though it's just suspended droplets of water, I did not fall to the ground.

Then suddenly everything went black...and red..and black.

Running as fast as a cheetah,

I tried to elude---

shadows chasing me;

faceless creatures going after me;

silhouettes grabbing every part of me

until I become their capture- restless, weak, powerless.

Blurred image of a man appeared out of nowhere

then he grabbed my head and buried his sharp fingernails in my scalp.

He kept on whipping me and I can feel the gushing of my blood.

I cried in pain. No voice came out from my mouth, though.

Then I suddenly realized I'm free and started to run for my dear life.

But I can hear his loud and deep laughter

getting closer and closer.

I am still confused with what is happening.

I keep on running and running

until my supply of air becomes scarce.

Dead end.

Face-to-face

me versus him.

I am already tired;

ready to give up;

deal with my fate.

My fate that now rests on this blurred image.

As he lift his hand for a final blow

I shut my eyes tightly hoping that when I open them again

I'll see rainbow, waterfalls, butterflies, and flowers.

But I can feel his hands squeezing my neck tighter and tighter,

strangling me to death.

I struggle to get past him,

thinking of hundred ways to get his hands off me so I can breathe normally.

But he's too powerful. I accepted my fate. I am doomed. This is my end.

Everything remains black and dark.

My eyes are still shut hoping by doing so, I'll be numb

but I can still feel every pain and every struggle to live.

And I continue gasping for air...I'm running out of air.

Oh, God. Please let me live longer.

I made up my mind.

If this will be my end, might as well see the face of my unidentified perpetrator up close.

Regardless of what or who he looks like, I want to know his face.

I want to remember every detail.

And so I opened my eyes...

to the sound of voices gathered around me and waking me up.

And I started to breathe normal again.

Madspeaks signing-in

Creating this new blog would be my last attempt to revive the pseudo-writer in me. I don't know if I can still post on a regular basis but right now, what I really want is just to write just like the old days.The only difference is, I will try to write more with sense (and hopefully, I can).

No good topic running in my mind at present.Okay, honestly, I am thinking of giving my thoughts on P-Noy finally assuming office, his inaugural speech that gave the use of sirens or "wang-wangs" its claim to fame status (PD 69 was thus created in order to get rid of vehicles that have sirens on them. In all fairness it's a pretty decent order. However, P-Noy's government should create more laws that would be more helpful and vital. Implementing proper traffic laws is a good start but Filipinos should stop sensationalizing how great the president is for following traffic rules, etc. Cmon! The guy's got six years to prove himself and there's more to shutting other people's siren-equipped vehicles), and Rep.-elect Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's greed for power. Ah, whatever happened to this promising official?Too much power is really bad.

Perhaps, in the days to come, or who knows in a couple of hours, I can finally write something worth-reading and not just rants. So for now, I'll just consider this as my first official entry after a three-year hiatus from my blogging life. Hoping writer's block will not be that often because seriously, I really miss writing.