If not for my Sing Along Wednesday Night gimmick, my blog has been rotten this month haha! C'mon my recent posts are all music videos, except for my "hate entry" against bloggers lol. Seriously, I decided to take a break from blogging because I'm not really in the mood to post something the past few weeks because I might end up publishing a very stupid and crazy post because of an emotional turmoil happening inside of me.
Yes, I am in a great depression/confusion stage and I'm actually proud of it. Why? Because it gives me the reason to rant...it gives me the reason to be cranky...it gives me the reason to be negative...it gives me the reason to justify the negative thoughts running in my head...it gives me the reason to hate people, the world, and most especially myself.
I am in great depression because I feel neglected and rejected. The past two weeks were not good to me that's why I'm still hurting emotionally. False hope. Expectations.Is it wrong to long for stability and certainty? I am in great depression/confusion and I'm not liking this idea. It's as if any moment from now, my sanity will elude me, my faith will be crushed, and my stint here on earth will be cut short. It's crazzzzy! Every night instead of praying to see the sun shining brightly tomorrow, I pray for a peaceful and painless ending for myself. That's how bad it is.