Perfectly Lonely (Live) by John Mayer

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

Two days ago, I heard this song playing over the radio and the lyrics simply struck me. Bull's eye! I just realized that no matter how hard I try to convince myself (although I'm really fine with this kind of set-up, I swear with my whole heart and life) that being alone is okay, I always come to a certain point that I can no longer conceal my true take on the matter. I am a lonely and empty girl. I yearn for someone...I yearn something that is real. I'm tired of being trapped in a situation that only offers uncertainty, complications, and temporary bliss. I want my own piece of happiness too.

I dream of someone who will always be there for me to cheer me up, encourage me, believe in me, and never lose faith in me. I dream of someone whom I will share the rest of the evening talking about life in general, who agrees and disagrees with my arguments, and who listens when I speak. Sure, I also dream of someone who will wait for me at the altar during my wedding day, who will be the father of my children, and even my partner in life till death do we part. Yes, I dream of a love story more beautiful and more touching than those tear-jerking love story movies shown in cinema houses. Not even Titanic or Moulin Rouge or If Only. Mine will be far greater than that.

But there are also times that I simply surrender and humbly accept that maybe I won't ever belong to anyone and that nobody will belong to me. There are times that I simply stop waiting and believing for my own fairytale to happen, for my prince charming to come and see me. If that ever happens, I'm perfectly ready for a single-blessed life. Honestly speaking. In fact, I already pictured myself wearing a diamond ring that I purchase with my own money, a souvenir photo at the Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, and the Pyramid of Giza. I have a vision of myself driving my own car at an increasing speed, going home late at night and a little bit tipsy, and sleeping with some cute guys that I will meet bwahahahahaha!

But I know that would be a lonely, lonely life.

Oh crap, enough of this shitty feeling that I'm currently entertaining for the past days now. Back to John Mayer's song...

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

That's the way, that's the way

That's the way that I want it

That's the way, that's the way

That's the way that I want it

That's the way, that's the way

That's the way that I want it

That's the way, that's the way